If you remember, I had decided to finally quit that necessary, boring routine of mine.
But, No! I couldn't do that.
There were so many reasons to it or you can say I gave up to the situation. I don't know what happened or what I am doing now. I feel my life being wasted daily, and my mind being put to rest daily.
But I don't see a path to get me out of this mess, which is getting messier each day.
What all options do I have, what exactly do I want, and what can I actually do and achieve.
Everything is still clumsy and don't seem to clear soon or maybe will get clear soon unexpectedly (I hope!).
Well, right now I am waiting for the CAT result to come, if I get through I'll get a chance to get out and try. But, what if not? What then?
My confidence used to be my biggest strength but I am losing it day by day. I am losing faith in myself. If not to the world, I need to prove it to myself that I can do what I want and restore my confidence.
I feel rejected now. Rejected by everyone.
As if no-one wants me, no-one respects me, no-one trusts me. I know that's not true, but still I feel this way.
I just want a single ray of hope, a star to trickle down and reach out for me and show me a path to get outta here and make me come out of this rejection feeling.
P.S. Waiting to be UN-rejected!
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